Rachel Lindsay’s clothes from the Bachelorette episode 2.

So, you should know this about me. To write about the Bachelor/ette, I watch the show two or three times. The first, just to soak it all in. The second for anything I missed. And the last, to capture images of the clothes. But last week I didn’t do that,  because I physically couldn’t handle it. Honestly, I would rather watch a thousand of Caila’s snapchats than endure even a single additional Whaboom.

For the first time in Bachelor history, I could not defend this show to the haters. They were right. This show was just. so. stupid.

But time (and a bottle of rose) heals all wounds, and here we are, episode two of the Bachelorette, now with 30% more douchebag. Chris Harrison drops off the friend zone group date (Tickle Monster and Iggy, the narrator from Lemony Snicket are both on the card) encouraging the men to be here for the right reasons, which means that somebody is most definitely not here for the right reasons.

On the heels of Ben and Lauren’s tragic breakup (and equally tragic Freeform spinoff) the theme of Rachel’s season is “Rachel will get married, dammit) and to prove it, the first date is hosted by Mila Kunis and her husband, the dude who was in The Butterfly Effect  and also kinda looks like Jared from Kaitlyn’s season, if you squint and are very, very drunk. It’s an obstacle course, testing the men’s marriageability, based on how they diaper a baby and vacuum. The only takeaway from the entire exercise is that each of these men should be sterilized immediately.

The group date concludes at PeeWee’s Playhouse, a tchocke-filled house of horrors, that sets the stage for Lucas and Blake’s plunging necklines to throw context-free barbs at one another. Somewhere in their past, the two shared a girlfriend or a roommate, or something.

Honestly, I don’t care.

Okay, so the next day Rachel and Peter, her diastema twin, board a private plane with Rachel’s adorable dog Copper, and the three head to Palm Springs for Barkfest, which is essentially Coachella for dogs. There are dog smoothies. And dogs on floaties. And dogs in flower crowns.  There’s a palpable chemistry between Rachel and Peter – and I don’t hate it.

 

The final group date was originally Rachel’s guys measuring their dicks to see whose was the longest, but since The Bachelorette is owned by Disney, they changed it into a basketball game, in front of a live audience, which just happened to include DeMario’s scrunchies-wearing ex-girlfriend. Apparently hell hath no fury like a woman who doesn’t even know she’s being scorned until she just happens to be flipping through the channels and sees her boyfriend is a contestant on the next season of the Bachelorette.

It’s positively Shakespearean, no?

The scent of DeMario’s dumpster fire still lingers in the air (or maybe that’s his cologne) as Rachel puts on a brave face for the rose ceremony. It’s time to put the drama behind her and find love. Right? Wrong. This is the Bachelorette, and why do in one episode what you can accomplish less efficiently (and more dramatically) in two. So, DeMario, despite being sent home, shows up at the mansion, asking to speak to Rachel.

That’s so 2014 of you, Chris Bukowski.

Despite knowing the DeMario is a dirty dog, Rachel’s curiosity (and her contract) get the better of her, and she agrees to see him. So, that’s what’s happening next week.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know when it is time to stop watching this show.

Amen.

 

 

13 thoughts on “Rachel Lindsay’s clothes from the Bachelorette episode 2.

  1. Carin

    …and the wisdom to know when it is time to stop watching this show.

    A-MEN.

  2. Jenn

    I agree. This season is awful and filled with such douche bags And WTF is WAHBOOM? He looks like an idiot. But I love your ‘recaps’!

    1. Christen

      I told my hubby that as soon as he stepped out of the limo and said Whaboom I would have turned his butt around and put him right back in it.

  3. Sheila

    “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know when it is time to stop watching this show.”…..AMEN!!!!

  4. Anne Haraln

    Question: Does she bring all these amazing clothes with her or does the show provide and pick them out for her? Just curious. Thank you. I enjoyed looking at the clothes and seeing how much the cost and where they were purchased. Very interesting.

    1. Dana Weiss

      The show provides her entire wardrobe, but she does bring a few of her own favorite pieces. The contestants provide their own clothes, but the lead is provided with wardrobe and hair and make up.

      1. Jessica R

        I loved the asymmetrical sweater she was wearing towards the beginning of the episode…any info on the sweater and where I can buy?

    2. livi

      The contestants on the show are responsible for bringing all their own clothes (ie: the men on the bachelorette bring their own suits and the ladies on the Bachelor bring their own dresses) the only dresses or suits provided for them are at the final 2 stage. However as far as the actual bachelorette(in this case Rachael), she is provided with an entire wardrobe that she is fitted to prior to the shows beginning. Hope that helps, I’ve worked as a wardrobe stylist for TV for 5 years.

  5. suzanne abrams

    This season had so much potential. The found a bachelorette, who is classy , intelligent , has a sense of humor and a personality! And they do their tired old tricks-“right reson” girlfriend back home and nutjob Waahbooom

    1. Dana Weiss

      I agree. She’s charming and funny, and a great, confident lead. I love how she said she wasn’t feeling chemistry with any of the guys on the group date, and when she ignored Chris Harrison and went to the bathroom. But it’s a losing battle to have to go up against this cast of clowns.

      1. Billy

        Her furious “get the fuck out” and subsequent ignoring of Chris Harrison were perhaps my two favorite moments in Bachelor history. While I totally agree that these guys are a pretty awful bunch (except Kenny, who I find adorable)… if Rachel continues to kick this much ass, and not put up with any shit – she’ll keep me watching. She’s amazing.

  6. Keri

    I am so happy your recaps are back! I completely agree Peter is the front runner there are only about three guys that don’t need a lobotomy.

    Amen girl!

    https://kerielaine.com

    Keri

  7. Anonymous

    Where can I find the red crop top she wore on the one on one date


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