My friends and I love to play a game called “who would play you in the movie about your life.” As you’ve probably figured out the object of the game is to pick a star who looks like you to play you in the movie about your life.
Since at this point we all know that nobody goes on the Bachelor to find love, I suspect each of Sean Lowe’s 25 bachelorettes has already pondered who will play her in her E True Hollywood story, after her 15 minutes is up.
To help the ladies out, I’ve picked out a special lady to play each of Sean’s hopefuls, along with their qualifications.
This would also be helpful should ABC ever consider doing The Bachelor: The Movie.
In which case I am totally campaigning for the role of Chris Harrison.
Most. Dramatic. Casting. Ever.
Who is your favorite Bachelorette? Think you can cast someone better? Leave it in the comments.
Whose Bachelor fashion do you love? I’ll be posting the Bachelor style from the promo outfits later this week, so check back.
And don’t forget to check Possessionista every week to see what Sean Lowe’s 25 Bachelorettes have worn on TV each week.
Shawntel Van Sant as Jackie
With her amber locks and piercing blue eyes, Shawtel Van Sant is a deadringer for Jackie. Her credentials as Quinn on One Tree Hill qualify her for dealing with a houseful of crazy women and a guy who wakes up in different beds with no memory of how he got there.
Megan Fox as Kristy
In the movie Jennifer’s Body, Megan Fox plays a possessed cheerleader who drinks her classmates blood. In real life Kristy may not be a literal maneater, but it looks like she might have something stuck in her teeth.
Jillian Michaels as Amanda
Everyone knows that the days without a date, the bachelorettes spend their time laying around. Not only is Jillian Michaels the spitting image of Amanda, but how great would it be to have a personal trainer for those days without a date?
Teresa Guidice as Ashlee
The best part of the Bachelor is the drama between the ladies. Let lookalike Teresa Guidice of the Real Housewives of New Jersey play Ashlee and then suggest that Sean is cheating on her. Just be sure you bolt down all the tables first, you prostitution whore.
Rutina Westley as Ashley H
As Tara Thorton on True Blood, there’s nothing Rutina Westley hasn’t seen. Vampires. Werewolves. Shapeshifters. It’ll probably be a relief for Rutina to learn the biggest secret these women are harboring are their implants.
Courtney Kerr as Ashley P
Looks like Ashley P is already campaigning for her lookalike, right down to the color scheme. After Most Eligible Dallas ended, Bravo reality star Courtney Kerr stuck up a friendship with Bachelor Sean Lowe in real life. If this past relationship comes out, let’s hope the producers remember to get it on camera this time.
Brandy as Brooke
Everybody loves a diva. If Brandy would play Brooke, she could rock those feather earrings like nobody else, and I’d love to see how many times during an argument Brandy would burst into “That Boy is Mine.”
Nina Dobrev as Catherine
Everyone knows Nina Dobrev as Elaina from Vampire Diaries but it’s her legacy at Degrassi that will prepare her for the high school antics back at the Bachelor Mansion
Ashleigh Hunt as Daniella
She did it before and she’ll do it again. Former bachelor contestant Ashleigh Hunt didn’t win Jake Pavelka’s heart but this time around she’ll know the tips and tricks to getting that final rose.
Michelle Monaghan as Desiree
Surviving the Bachelor house can be exhausting and challenging. Fortunately, Monaghan has plenty of training in Mission: Impossible. Literally.
Maggie Gyllenhaal as Diana
The best thing about having Maggie Gyllenhaal in the Bachelor mansion? She’ll take over and in 8 weeks, all the Bachelorettes will all have higher SAT scores. Also, how great would it be if all the girls rejected the rose to instead date her brother Jake Gyllenhaal. (Sorry Taylor Swift.)
Rachel Zoe as Kelly
From her toothpick arms to those defined cheekbones, Rachel Zoe could totally be a double for Kelly. And that would be Bananas.
Dina Meyer as Katie
Those of you in your 20s probably don’t remember Dina Meyer, who seduced Brandon Walsh during the original 90210. But with her crazy hair and huge smile, this cougar has always has a way with younger guys.
Emily Van Camp as KeriAnn
I’d like to see Emily Van Camp play KeriAnn on the Bachelor.I have always wanted to see someone go totally apeshit when she got sent home. Can you imagine if Emily didn’t get the rose and went seeking Revenge Emily Thorne style?
Eliza Coupe as Lacey
As Jane from ABC’s Happy Endings, Eliza Coupe’s blonde hair and sweet eyes make her an obvious stand in for Lacey. Not to mention, she’s already part of the ABC family, so her contract will be easy to negotiate.
Alicia Keys as Leslie
If Alicia Keys were to play Leslie on the Bachelor who do you think could steal Sean from her? No one. No one. No oooooone.
Sarah Chalke as Lauren
With her touseled blonde hair, I chose Sarah Chalke to play Lauren in the Bachelor. Not only because they look alike, but if she makes it to the final 2, we’ll finally find Sean can totally tell his kids “how I met your mother.”
Samantha Levey as Lesley
Samantha Levey from Ben Flajnik’s season of the Bachelor has never been quiet about how much she disliked her Bachelor. She’d probably be thrilled this go-round with Sean Lowe.
Maria Menounos as Lindsay
Maria Menounos could easily play the auburn haired Lindsay. It’s just a question of whether it would start to annoy Sean when Menounos kept using her ITA interviews to report for Entertainment Tonight.
Angela Bassett as Robyn
Sure Robyn bares a striking resemblance to the gourgeous Angela Bassett, but I think Bassett is a great match for Sean because they’re both really into fitness. Even if they don’t find love, they’ll always have the gym. What’s love got to do with it?
Cameron Diaz as Sarah
Aside from the blonde hair and blue eyes, Cameron Diaz could repeat her “My Best Friends Wedding” role. It wouldn’t be the first time her beau was cheating with her on 24 other women. Not in the movies. And not in real life. Good thing Jessica Biel isn’t in this movie.
Shiri Appleby as Selma
Between Swimfan and Roswell, Shiri Appleby is an expert in roles with crazy people and potential alien activity.
Alison Sweeney as Taryn
Between her Soap Opera days and reality hosting, Ali Sweeney is a shoe-in for the Bachelor. Plus, it would be awesome every time Sean sent someone home, Ali could say, “You are the biggest loser.”
Bailee Madison as Tierra
Yeah, that’s the kid from Just Go With it. It’s probably inappropriate to cast a thirteen year old in The Bachelor, but Sean really likes kids, so she may have a chance.