Morna

Morna

· January 30, 2009 · By Dana Weiss ·

Do you have a Morna?

You know the type?

Calm. Level-headed. Professional. Gorgeous.

Oh yeah. And mom of four.

Seriously. Morna is, like, my idol. She has four kids and never breaks a sweat. She talks about potty training and Paige jeans as though they are both equally glamorous and equally as easy to come by.

So, when Morna asked me to help her find the Yummie Tummie at a leaner, more Morna-ier price, I literally couldn’t jump on the task fast enough.

You see, Morna is like Xanax in designer jeans. (My two favorite things.)

If you’re not familiar with Yummie Tummie, it’s basically a tummy tuck disguised as a tank top. It promises to smooth your waistline from bust to hips, slimming inches away.

Now, normally, I’d pay $70+ for an outpatient procedure that promised to make me look 10lbs thinner without giving up my nightly gummy cola bottles. But I don’t have 4 children. So, I could understand Morna’s request.