It’s hard for me to say who is the best dressed in Paradise. Mostly because none of these bitches wears any clothes. Perhaps I’m just bitter because I’ve been mainlining vodka and Pirate’s Booty for the better part of the last three months, but if it’s all the same to you, I’m ready to embrace […]
I haven’t written abut a single outfit that Izzy Goodkind has worn this entire season of Paradise. And that’s not by design. But when your first impression is pajama onesies, you set my expectations pretty darn low. Last week, I missed her appearance on After Paradise, but more than a few of you sent me […]
Here’s the problem with the Izzy/Vinny situation. Coupling up from the beginning really did a disservice to Vizzy, because we have to trust the word of the other contestants that they were this seemingly power duo. Despite reference to the fun they had, the conversations they had, I haven’t seen any of this. No burning […]
I want to tell you a story. When I was a junior in high school, my boyfriend broke up with me. So, when another boy in his grade asked me to prom, I accepted his invitation knowing full well that my ex would be there. Then I slammed three wine coolers and danced my ass […]
I got quite a few emails looking for this cute – and very wearable – white bikini, Sarah Heron wore earlier this week on Bachelor in Paradise. So, apologies for this late entry.
Ashley I returns to Paradise confident that this time will be different. If at first you don’t succeed, cry, cry again, I guess. And that’s what she does. After a super awkward conversation where Chris Harrison tries to decipher whether Ashley I is still a virgin in baseball terms, the crybaby formerly known as Karsashley […]
Fuck the formalities. If Evan Bass can make a homemade date card and interrupt the passing of Herpes Simplex 1 between two consenting adults (or one adult and one man child) then what’s to keep me from jumping right into this week’s recap? Despite the insufferable heat, Evan puts on a pair of drop crotch […]
Since we last left Paradise, Amanda and Josh Murray are now fully a couple. They don’t talk. They don’t eat. They just make out like they’re writing the R-rated version of Green Eggs and Ham. I will kiss you on a chair I will kiss you on your hair I will kiss you if you’re […]